Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize