its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
