before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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