Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Randomize
