her vagine was all disorganized.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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