I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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