i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
