I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
