I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
