I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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