oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
