Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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