My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
