so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
