I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hippo gnu deer
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
