it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
