first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
