Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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