Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I love you. Go after that dick
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
