ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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