She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
