ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm passing your future prison.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize