I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize