Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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