This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize