He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
