do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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