That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You are the jesus of drinking
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
