my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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