she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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