We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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