From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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