Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
