Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
