margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
