i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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