He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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