Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
