dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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