So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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