do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
