Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
