Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
