Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
