found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
