it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
