I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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