I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
