So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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