you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
