so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No subtext here. People are naked.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
