i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize