So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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