he puts the penis in happiness.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize