I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I did not marry a roomba.
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