I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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