Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
