On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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