This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
