Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize