I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i out mim tonsoeep
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