At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
