Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
