Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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