good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize