I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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