I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
