Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
