You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize