I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
